"Gettin' Ready, 'Cause Here I Come!"

So what do you think of My So Called OCD Life's new look? (Thank you, my secret graphic Guru.) Do I look like a writer to you? Is the look more intriguing? Do you think I am still portraying a somewhat professional appearance? Do the images provoke a sense of wonderment and fun? Do I look like I have OCD?!!

For the past couple of months, I have been captivated by the conceptualization of putting together logos, looks and language to promote myself as a budding freelance writer (never expected to still be "budding" past the age of 30, but here I am). Maybe it's my obsession with creating a visionary brand for myself and evolving into the writer I've always dreamed of becoming (get ready readers, someday I will own a beaded eyeglass lanyard, and I can't wait!); maybe I really am on the verge of crazy (or finally success!); or, maybe I'd just like to get more of a rise out of my readers (that is most certainly a hint). Whatever my motivation, I'm "gettin' ready" to make an impact in the competitive world of composing, and thought I needed (and was also advised) to "writer-ize" my image.

As you might imagine, I can be critical and yes, obsessive, about the impression I portray to the circuit I surround myself with and now to the world of writers and the readers who follow them. I don't think anyone loves to see themselves in photographs. I would guess that approximately 3 times a year, I somehow come up with a photo of myself that I can proudly display, but that's about it. It's not that I'm insecure about my looks - I just take terrible photographs! The photo shoot that produced my site's new images was no exception. There is a reason one image is so small you can't really make out my face.

So I thought, what better event to test out my image but the launch party for the newest issue of the magazine I'm writing for?! After a day spent stuffing my face with other bloggers at a food blogging event where we learned more about the biology of seafood sourcing than I really ever wanted to know, putting together an outfit for my "coming out" event was not at the top of my to-do list, or I should say want-to-do list.

First of all, as an OCDite, it takes me probably twice as long as your average female to get ready for an event like this . . . or any event for that matter. I know that some of my friends are laughing at this, because they've watched my process, but I'm sure others of you - hello, fellow OCDites - can relate and have your own processes to share, but that will be saved for a future post of its own. 

So how can you possibly prepare or decide how you want to be perceived when the brand is essentially yourself? I can and have accomplished a lot of big and small things in my life: surviving my first piano recital, crossing the Girl Scout bridge to Cadette level, graduating college with high honors, moving across the country with no real plan - just a dream (sometimes I think I'm still dreaming), and most recently managing the accounts for a multi-million dollar venture capital firm, but I have never excelled at self-promotion. I move forward on the basis of accomplishments and hard work - that's what you're taught when your Dad is one of the greatest farmers in the country. (It is true!) Endorsing me is just not something I feel completely comfortable with. It takes my OCD to a whole new level. Sometimes I think I really may have a heart attack or stop breathing, because I may not have made the right choice. It is enough of a challenge to keep calm and carry on when the discussion involves a group topic, but I struggle to keep it together when the subject is me. Maybe I should heed the advice of my mentors and "hang in there, kiddo," and luck will come to me? How do you know?! 

Pushing the mania of my disorder's mental debates aside, I decided to pull it all together with the leather jacket and hat you see to create a little mystery to pair with my madness. I thought they both seemed appropriate as well as items I in which I am extremely comfortable. Yes, we're still talking about and have been talking about my "coming out" outfit for the party and for the prefacing photo shoot intended to improve my image. Image is important! 

Well, I most certainly stood out at the magazine launch party in the crowd of perfectly painted faces, college students out for what seemed to be another Thirsty Thursday party and wannabe Brit band mates (you should have seen these 2 - they looked like twins and possibly brothers of Russell Brand - it was entertaining.) But someone told me, while I was simultaneously taking a sip of my cocktail and savoring a moment in my mind about the energy exerted for this magazine which I am now representing (yay!), that I "looked like a writer," and that was all I needed to hear.

So what do you think?